Let the Bonding Begin and Time Zone Zombies-March 12, 2011

       Our first few days at home have been wonderful and challenging at the same time. We have adjusted to the time zone change fairly well. However, little Nathan is still on Taiwan time.  He's sleeping for some of the night, but Wednesday night he was up at 3:30 in the morning wide awake, playing patty cake in bed. This was after he woke up at 1:00 wide awake and we had a play session downstairs. I thought I had him settled at about 3, but by 3:30, he was up again. As I type he's sleeping on a quilt on our living room floor. He was supposed to wake up from his nap at 4:00, and he's still sleeping. I've tried to wake him 3 times now, each time resulting in complete meltdown and then he falls back asleep.  I guess it will be a late night again.

       Despite the sleeping adjustments, he's doing so well. He's met Ellie Homoelle, and after two days, he'll crawl up to her at pat at her while she sits next to him. He's learned if she gets too close it could mean a kiss in the face, so he closes his eyes to get ready.  When it comes to eating, he's enjoying his bottles,  rice cereal, fruit desert, and broccoli. I think he feels heavier already!   Bath time, which was totally unenjoyable for all a few days ago, is now the highlight of our night. And when it comes to bonding, I think we have a spoiled baby already.  Experts say it can take up to a year for a healthy, solid bond.  We're glued to him for sure. From day one, he's had our hearts. We're starting to see that he loves us already as well.

       Bonding is a huge concern with adopted children, and we're trying to do many things to help ensure he attaches to Greg and I and develops appropriate relationships later in life. The nannies at Hannah's Hope have helped out with this already, because he's already bonded to them. It was so obvious on the first day we received him that he was particularly attached to Mei Mei. He bounced up and down in her arms and smiled. He now does that to me if I pick him up after not having him in my arms for a while. We've taken classes and read about all the things we should do to foster this bond.  Common parenting practices-like letting babies cry it out when it comes to bedtime, aren't recommended for adopted kids. Instead, we're supposed to answer every cry to show him we are there for him. Sometimes I think it's creating a spoiled rotten little boy, but when I think of all he's had to deal with, all the changes, I think I should just be there for him.

      I had a moment last night when I finally realized I've got to take his adjustment one day at a time. I was so concerned that he start sleeping in his crib. He's been waking up crying so much in his crib that we've been scooping him up and laying him between us. It's honestly been the only way he sleeps. The problem is-I don't sleep. And the other night was the "last straw" when I woke up to a finger in my eye, water streaming down my cheek, and the thought I might never see out of my left eye again. 

     So I started last night with the "that's it, no more co sleeping" mentality. I "bounced" him to sleep and he was safe and sound in his crib at 9:30. By midnight, he was standing up in his crib crying. So, I put him to sleep again. The very second he felt me put him down, he was up again. This went on 2 more times, until I placed him in between us. For the first night home he slept through the night. Around 4:50 I woke up as he stirred, and heard a song on the radio we had left on low for light noise. The song, Rascal Flat's "I Won't Let Go", said it all. No matter what, I just need to be there for this little guy as he deals with his whole world changing. While it was meant to be a love song, I'm sure that the words in the song ring out to all parents. Tears streamed down my face as my little one rested along side of me. The crib can wait another day, maybe even another week, another month.